I saw an image of in a grocery store of a cow made out of vegetables and decided that it would be doable. Here is what you need:
-1 butternut squash that you think is the shape of a cow's head (A spaghetti squash might work)
-1 large acorn squash
-1 red onion shallot or a small red onion
-2 button mushrooms
-2 banana peppers
-2 blue berries
-1 small bunch of grapes
-one pencil thick dowel
-one dowel as thick as a few toothpicks
1) Break off a piece of the pencil thick dowel about the length of your index finger. Insert into bottom of the acorn squash about 3cm from the very base. You will want the acorn to sit on it's side. If you are having trouble breaking the skin of the squash, use a metal skewer to start the hole.
2) Press the bottom of the butternut squash onto the piece of dowel sticking out of the acorn squash to create the head. At this point it will probably wobble. If it does: take pieces of the smaller dowel and insert them into the side of the acorn squash near where it is touching the table to create little support stands. I found you needed about 3.
3) Insert two long pieces of the thin dowel into the sides of the butternut squash where the horns will go. You want them long so they go about half way into the peppers to help support them. Cut off the end of peppers stems and stick them onto the dowels in the head.
4) Place two small thin dowels where the eyes will be. Remove the stems from the button mushrooms and press onto the dowels. Do not pierce all the way through. Take another set of small segments of dowel and insert into the blue berries. Place on the center of the mushrooms.
5) Cut the red onion in half and remove two equal sized small onion rings for the nostrils. Glue into place.
6) Place grapes on top of head.
Tada! Vegetarian Beef!